I have been craaaaving some form of creative outlet. I have missed poetry and haven’t really written much (besides a poem I read at our wedding reception about how much I love chase) since high school so I thought I’d take a stab at it. Plus it’s one of my goals!
Last night, right around golden hour, I found myself on the couch in front of these massive windows looking out over this vast expanse of trees. It was totally dreamy. Sunset was about to begin and I noticed some trees in the distance were golden on their very tips, as if they were wearing crowns. I looked at the sky and the blue behind the clouds was a soft, melancholy, hard to notice unless you’re looking for it but then you realize how beautiful of a color it is kind of color. I thought that was the perfect inspiration for a poem, which was about watching the sky alongside your favorite color. I ate a brownie, tried to clear my mind, and told myself it would be a little writing exercise. I told myself the only prompt was the view outside and I needed to just write whatever popped into my head, and then I could revise it into a poem.
IT WAS AN AMAZING EXPERIENCE! My creative juices were flowing and I was creating! I read my poem over and over and thought I nailed the entire mood of the moment I was drawing inspiration from. It was a bit melancholy for sure, but for me it was comforting and kind of cute.
I posted it on Twitter alongside a picture of the view that inspired the poem. A friend I went to high school with reached out and shared how my poem touched them and made them feel a little less alone. My art touched someone and inspired them! My words did what I had intended them to and created a specific emotional experience for someone–an emotional experience I was trying to capture. It was amazingly validating to have my poem appreciated and felt.
On the flip side, when I showed my husband, he was instantly sad and worried because I mentioned being lonely. I posted the poem to instagram, along with another (and slightly more sad) poem. A few people saw it and were concerned I was sad and lonely and upset. I was devastated that my poetry had missed the point for some. I was worried that maybe my “skill” for poetry was just in my head.
Through this experience, I realized how hard it can be to share an art form so personal as poetry. And when I draw on specific emotions for inspiration (such as the melancholy of watching the light drain from the sky), it might be hard for people who care about me and my feelings to be able to separate inspiration from my true personal feelings. It’s hard for me to do that lol. I also realized that not everyone is going to get my poems because experiencing and absorbing art is unique to everyone. Also, I have so much room for improvement and could probably do a bit more revision when it comes to raw emotion.
Once I realized that this should be a learning experience, I felt less sad that people misunderstood my poetry and more motivated to just improve.
In the spirit of getting over my fears of criticism, I want to share more art. I want to share more poetry, get more feedback, learn, grow, and improve. So that’s what I’m going to try to do. Here are my poems from this story. Thanks for reading!