I am happy.
Once upon a time, a young girl named Dominique started a blog with the expectations of creating shockingly honest content about her reality. “Social media is all about filters and making everything look perfect,” she thought to herself, “so I am going to be DIFFERENT and write about how HARD life and change and growth are and this idea is SO UNIQUE and ORIGINAL and COOL.” Turns out, this kind of blog is not very unique or original. I knew that I wanted to change a lot about my life and I wanted to document it. I told myself I would go viral because people would enjoy such a refreshingly real take on the health and wellness journey I was about to embark on. To be fair to young Dominique, I was really sad, felt super lost, and thought that an outlet like a blog would be a good place to hash out my emotions. But what young Dominique didn’t realize is how happy she actually was, even amidst the seemingly crushing sadness she was feeling. And I freaking love my life. I would use whatever new diet, lifestyle adjustment, workout regimen, etc as a distraction from years of unresolved trauma messing with my emotional state. I went to therapy, got married, and have learned so much about myself. And while I have a loooooooot to work on, I like myself. I also realized that whatever I do does not have to be “COOL or UNIQUE or ORIGINAL” to have value.
So here I am today. I have decided there is no need for me to attempt to define what this blog is going to be about (though I may try anyway). Sometimes, it might look like a travel blog, other times it might look like a place for really sad poetry (because I am incapable of writing happy poetry). Maybe I will post a lot about my cat, my husband, fun dates, my family, my opinions, my art, my feelings. Other times, and I can guarantee this, my posts will be filled with meaningless ramblings and a lot of parentheses (because I cannot not use them, I’m sorry. Think of it as me providing commentary on my commentary). I want this blog to be 100% Dom and there is no way to put one definitive label on a person–we are made of up so much more than how we define ourselves.
My only New Year’s resolution this year is to enjoy my life. I have realized that I can enjoy my life while still wanting to work on a few things. For some reason, I never thought you could do both at the same time. I had this warped perspective on the concept of perfection. I thought that if there were even ONE imperfect aspect of my life, I could not be happy until it was fixed (and guess what? this process did not work at all and instead I was just miserable all the time and never improved anything). I spent so much mental energy on feeling unhappy with myself, there was none leftover to actually work on the thing I was so unhappy about. (Thank You Therapy!!!!!!!!). I was exhausted. Thankfully, I have seen the error of my ways and decided I was pretty tired of this super unproductive cycle of destruction. So we are. I have goals, things I want to work on, things I want to work towards, etc BUT I ALSO RECOGNIZE THAT I HAVE GOOD THINGS NOW (groundbreaking, I know).
If you happen to be browsing the web and stumble upon this collection of thought-vomit and are wondering what in the world this blog is about, I will tell you: it is about me Enjoying My Life. Some of the joy will come from setting goals and then accomplishing those goals. Some of the joy will come from bad poetry. Some of the joy will come from dates with my husband or trips to visit family or jumbled rants about my feelings on life. Sometimes I might even Be Sad. Most of it will be me just shouting into the void of the internet. If nobody reads this, who cares. If the only person who reads this is myself all the time and my one friend Olivia, that is fine too. If I get famous for being COOL and UNIQUE and DIFFERENT, I hope I make young Dominique proud. Current Dom just wants to carve out her own little space in the world and I have decided this is how I am going to start.
To future Dom, I hope you stick with blogging. If you don’t I hope you know I am proud of you anyway. I hope you are happy, I hope you feel fulfilled in your life. I hope you figure out your dream job, feel confident, have friends, have another cat maybe, have a good relationship with food, and love yourself. I hope you are proud of yourself. I love you.
To everyone else, thanks for sticking around this long. Thanks for supporting me. Thanks for caring about me. I love y’all.